Don't know who I'm kidding
by Blahsblah2001
Summary: Kagome's back in her own time and Inuyasha waits for her to get back. But Kikyo's scent is on the air, bringing back memories... completed


Another new fic today. Geez, I'm being almost obnoxiously prolific. I hope this stuff is good, not just crap. I kinda hate this, but after the work, I just wanna put it up…

Anyway, this is a songfic. I don't know what the band or song name is, but I don't own it, any more than I own, say, Inuyasha.

Inuyasha sat in the tree of ages, staring out over the lower treetops. Thinking, mostly. Kagome was gone back to her own time for the weekend, and for once, he was in no hurry to see her get back.

Kikyo's scent was on the wind. Not close enough to track her by, not close enough to find her, but close enough to bring back unwanted memories every time the air stirred.

For the rest of the world, the miko was dead and gone, mostly forgotten. But for him, she had been alive only a few weeks ago.

Only weeks ago, they had been in love. She had asked him to stay with her, stay with her always. He had agreed. He would have become human for her.

And then, in one day, she was dead. And what seemed like the next, she was back.

Or not back. It was Kikyo's body that stood there, no matter what it was made of. It was Kikyo's voice that had spoken to him, telling him to die, and set her spirit free.

But it was not her soul. They were not Kikyo's eyes that looked at him with such hate.

It couldn't have been the same woman… could it?

I know what you're doing,

I see it all too clear

I only taste the saline

When I kiss away your tears

She couldn't have hated him that much before her death. They had a plan all worked out. He would become a human for her, and the jewel, the one she had to work so hard to protect, would be destroyed forever. She would be free of it's curse, no longer have to protect it. She would be a normal woman.

She would be allowed to love.

To love him?

You really had me going

Wishing on a star

The black holes that surround you

Are heavier by far

Could she love him, a half- demon?

Was it allowed? Was it possible?

Does anyone love a monster?

I believed in your confusion

So completely torn

Must have been that yesterday

Was the day that I was born

She wouldn't have asked him to become human if she didn't want him to stay with her, to be with her. If only for a human's shortened lifetime.

Unless…

His eyes widened.

What if she hadn't cared for him at all?

No matter what happened afterwards, if he was human, the jewel was gone.

And she was free.

So what if she had only pretended to love him, so he would destroy the jewel for her?

But she wanted him to love her, she wanted him to…

Did she really?

Not much to examine

Nothing left to hide

You really can't be serious,

You have to ask me why

I said goodbye

I am barely breathing,

I can't find the air

The wind blew hard, bringing more of her scent. She as much closer now, but she wouldn't come near the village. That he was certain of. She wouldn't come near him.

Did she still hate him? But he hadn't killed her!

He hadn't been the one!

She still wouldn't come near him.

Or let him come near her.

Should he wait for her? Wait a little longer?

Don't know who I'm kidding,

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

Don't suppose it's worth the price

It's worth the price

The price that I would pay…

Kagome…

Kagome sat at the booth in the town's WcDnlds. She should really be at home, helping her mother, or at least studying, but her friends had threatened to withhold notes forever if she didn't get some social contact with them.

At least her friend's cheerful chattering would keep her mind off Inuyasha, right?

"Hey Kagome, you still didn't tell us what's up with your mystery boyfriend."

"Hey that's right!"

"Did he kill anyone else for coming onto you?"

"No! That was one time, c'mon."

"So when do we get to meet him?"

"You guys are going out, right?"

"Yeah, I guess, I mean no! No way would he ever go out with me..."

Everyone keeps asking

What's it all about?

I used to be so certain

Now I can't figure out

What is their subtraction

Don't they feel my pain?

I mean sure I'd like it if we were going out… I guess. But there's no way it would ever happen. No chance ever.

"There's nothing going on, you guys. Just drop it, okay?"

And they did, Kagome's mystery boy gone from their heads in a second. Sigh.

She wished it were so easy for her. She couldn't keep her mind off him for more than a few hours. And that was only rarely.

Why did she think of him so much? I mean sure she liked him, but he was still totally hung up over Kikyo. He'd take the dead girl over her reincarnation, any day.

Right?

Nothing left to reason,

And only you to blame

Will it ever change?

I am barely breathing

I can't find the air

But so what if he couldn't decide who he liked? She didn't care, she wasn't gonna sit around waiting for that idiot to make up his mind. She only went over there to get the jewel shards, and once she'd found all the pieces she'd scattered, then she'd come home. Come home and put this whole thing behind her. Book closed.

Maybe.

Don't know who I'm kidding,

imagining you care

I can stand here waiting,

A fool for another day

Don't suppose it's worth the price

It's worth the price

The price that I would pay

But I'm thinking it over,

Anyway…

Maybe…

Inuyasha shook his head, trying to clear out the thoughts that stuck to his mind like mud on a new bike. They wouldn't leave. Not for the first time he longed for the old days, before al of this, where there was nothing but survival. He'd protected himself from larger demons, had fought off humans attacking him on sight for no reason other than his demon blood. It was better then, an easier life just fighting, and not having to worry about any of this sentimental shit.

Life was easier before love.

Come to find

I may never know

Is the changing mind

A friend or foe?

I rise above

I sink below

Every time

You come and go

He tried to tell himself that, that living on had been easier without the constant thought of Kikyo, or Kagome. But… still…

Unbidden, memories of he and Kikyo's first kiss sprang to his mind, how it had seemed to him then that they would be happy forever.

He remembered Kagome in his father's tomb, choosing to stay be his side even if it meant death for her.

No one had ever done that before. Ever.

I am barely breathing

I can't find the air

Don't know who I'm kidding,

imagining you care

I can stand here waiting,

A fool for another day

Don't suppose it's worth the price

It's worth the price

The price that I would pay

Staying with Kagome, trying to reconcile with Kikyo… they would make sure his life was never as simple as it had once been. Becoming human for either of them would be hard, as well. Humans didn't live nearly as long as hanyou.

But maybe… maybe it was worth it.

But I'm thinking it over,

Anyway…

I know what you're doing,

I see it all to clear…

Okay, glad that's over. Last night I broke a nail and it went about 1/8th of an inch into the quick. It hurts freakin bad ever time I hit a letter with that finger.

Anyway, I did a neat-o fanart and got it onto my computer, if anybody wants to see it, give me your email and I'll send it to you, K?

Caio!


End file.
